Creating an estate plan is one of the most important ways to care for your family and leave a legacy of faith. Yet, for many couples, the process can bring tension and disagreement.
Creating an Estate Plan: Finding Common Ground with Your Spouse
What a Wonderful Miracle Marriage Is, God brings two different people , with unique personalities, experiences, and opinions, and binds them together in a beautiful, holy union.
Of course, unity doesn’t come without its challenges, and this is especially true when creating a will or trust. If will planning is a hot-button conversation for you and your spouse, you’re in good company!
At Grace Christian University, we believe every part of life, even estate planning, is an opportunity to live out your faith, honor God, and model biblical stewardship for your loved ones. Here are five steps to help you move past your differences and toward the completion of an effective, God-honoring plan:
1. Call It Out
This is a difficult topic and often very emotional. Acknowledge this from the start; commit to listening and honoring one another in the same way Christ calls us to love and serve.
Resource: A great book for navigating difficult personalities and family history is Difficult Conversations. Read here ›
2. Put Away Your Boxing Gloves
Don’t treat this conversation as a battle that will be won or lost. Approach it prayerfully, with humility, and with the goal of finding peace and unity.
Tip: If you and your spouse are fundamentally opposed, it may be best to invite a neutral third party to help mediate. This could be a pastor, a trusted friend, or a professional arbitrator. Take time to check references and, if needed, interview before choosing someone. The right support can make all the difference, helping you reach agreement on your estate plan without lingering frustration or resentment.
3. Discuss Shared Values
Your faith has shaped your marriage and your family. Step back from the numbers and distribution charts. What do you truly want to accomplish through your plan? What testimony of faith and trust in God do you want to leave for those who come after you?
5 Questions Every Family Must Answer is a helpful article to guide conversations about shared values.
4. Identify Areas of Difference or Concern
Where do you see things differently? More importantly, why? Listen carefully with the goal of understanding, not convincing. In doing so, you reflect the patience and grace of Christ.
An encouraging article on the Ideal of Unity can help frame these conversations in a way that emphasizes peace and long-term agreement.
5. Explore Creative Solutions
Look for solutions that keep your shared values at the center. God calls us to be faithful stewards of what He provides, and planning well allows you to provide both for your loved ones and for Kingdom work.
Many couples enlist the help of a trusted ally to guide them through these conversations. Experienced planners have waded in these deep waters many times before. They can help you find solutions that align with your faith and your goals.
Through Grace Christian University’s partnership with Barnabas Foundation, you have direct access to trusted, Christ-centered planning support. At no cost to you, you can speak with someone who not only understands the tax-wise options available, but who also approaches planning with biblical stewardship in mind.
This is part of Grace’s commitment to serve you, not just in education, but in equipping families to live faithfully and impact eternity.
Ready to Learn More?
Call Pete Tilden at (616) 298-0771 or email ptilden@gracechristian.edu
