Having a student working through their first year of college can bring a host of emotions for both the support system of the student and the student themselves! From the parent perspective, one might have many questions, including:
- Is my student safe at their college?
- Are my students’ basic needs being provided for while they are living on campus or commuting?
- How do I serve my student best during this experience?
- What questions should I be asking my student?
On the other hand, students have many different emotions that can look a little bit like a rollercoaster as a semester moves forward. If a parent or support member of a student has knowledge of the “traditional student experience,” then they can better know how to serve their student! This article will outline the emotional ups and downs of the first-year student and can be used by support systems as a reference point.
Summer Leading Up to the First Year in College
Students will feel a variety of emotions as they prepare for the upcoming fall semester. Likely, they are choosing to leave the confines of their comfort and safety to try something new. This can create some excitement but also anxiety. Students may start to question their self efficacy (Can I succeed or not?) or whether they will find love and belonging (Who will be my people?) in their new environment. Here are a few questions your student may be having as they start thinking about the fall:
- Will I be able to handle coursework and the load of homework?
- Who will I get to know? Will I be able to make friends?
- How will I balance schoolwork and a part-time job?
- What degree do I want? What degree path is right for me?
Building encouragement through the power of belief can make a great difference in your student’s life. In challenging moments, students may forget what they’re capable of. The encouragement that comes from hearing parents or others believe in them is essential for self-efficacy in these challenging moments. This can help with general self efficacy as students plunge into a new challenge. Giving reminders of how the student has tackled hard things in the past will give them a running start into the headwinds of change.
Mid-Fall Semester
Odds are, your student has had a great start to the fall semester and is energized by the excitement that comes with new things. This honeymoon period can assist students as they launch headfirst into the educational community through their classroom experiences, community life, and being part of an educational community. The excitement is palpable on campus; however, the work is just beginning. Soon after the initial excitement comes the reality that university-level classes have an increased difficulty compared to the high school experience. Students may have been given their first grades of the semester or are feeling the weight are feeling the weight of the reality of the load and homework. Students may be asking themselves a different set of questions at this time of the semester including:
- This is more difficult than I thought – can I succeed here?
- I really love my friends back home, but I am having so much fun with my new friends at college – how do I balance my social life?
- I’m feeling homesick. Should I move back home?
Doing hard things for long periods of time is countercultural. Our students are immersed in a world of immediate gratification. Giving encouraging words and reminding their students of their “why” can go a long way to keeping the motivation high. Sending care packages or an encouraging note reminds the student that they are loved and being cheered for. These tokens of appreciation and support may be just the thing needed for the student to dig deep and continue to work hard.
End of the Fall Semester
When students head back home for holiday breaks, parents might see changes in their students. At this point, students are starting to be shaped by their experiences on campus, whether that’s a professor who is pouring into the student, intercollegiate athletics, or living in a vibrant community built on Christ. Students may be asking the questions:
- Who do I want to be?
- What do I believe? What do I stand for?
- How do I want to have an impact in this world?
Listening well during this time in the process of growth and emotional ups and downs can be just what the student needs. Asking probing questions about the student’s experience and what is leading them on this growth path will help students to process their feelings and inclinations for what God has planned for them.
Spring Semester
As students return from Christmas break energy is high and students might feel like they are back in the Honeymoon phase. Students coming back have the background knowledge of what it will take to be successful and know what is ahead of them. As the first portion of the semester moves along, students have their nose to the grindstone but also begin to think about the future. Some questions your student might be asking could include:
- I wonder if I could be an RA, part of Student Government or a team captain next year?
- Should I try to find a part-time job in my field of study or work a “gig job” this spring/summer?
- Where should I live? (It can be exciting to continue on the path of independence for some, and others are ready to come home for the safety and security that comes with being “home.”)
This is usually an exciting time for everyone. Students are getting their feet underneath themselves and starting to handle the hurdles that come with responsibility and independence. However, some parents may see their students struggling in classes or making questionable choices. This is the time where support structures need to show up for their students. Some students will need time to process their growth. Parents and friends can be excellent listeners who cheer on their students and continue to build them up with encouragement. Others may find themselves having to provide the accountability a student might need to start making some hard decisions about their future.
Here at Grace Christian University
In the end, we are the sum of our choices. College experiences should provide a challenge, but with meaningful support can use these opportunities for growth. When students come to Grace Christian University at “Point A,” our goal is to walk with them until they get to “Point B.” Everyone’s Point A and Point B look different, but we encourage upward growth and try to assist with increasing the trajectory of our students so that they finish their Grace experience as Graduates who are Courageous Ambassadors for Christ, who make an Eternal Impact wherever they go.
